Last week, I had the opportunity to speak for one of my clients based in Houston. There were 60+ women from around the country…in Denver, San Francisco, Fort Lauderdale and Houston who work for a design, engineering, and architectural firm.
The company hired me to help support and inspire their staff at the one-year mark of the pandemic and as the company slowly transitions from “work from home” back to “working in the office.” For many companies, there are no clear-cut guidelines on how to re-integrate employees back in the office after a pandemic. For many employees, there is a lot of uncertainty, and of course, many are balancing work with parenting and elder care. Work/life balance has always been an important topic, but even more so in the past year with the pandemic.
I surveyed participants before our session so that I could understand what was keeping them up at night, where their greatest anxieties are, and what is stressing them out both at work and at home. I got answers that I anticipated…concerns about the coronavirus, challenges with balancing work and family, feeling like they work longer hours, etc.
I also asked them what they were doing to take care of themselves. I was thrilled to hear that half of the women said that they were exercising and spending out time in nature very intentionally to help manage their stress.
But the answer that made me cheer the loudest?
“I’m giving myself permission to not be perfect.”
Woo hoo!!!
Yes!!!
Of course, we all want to eat healthy, exercise regularly, maintain a clean and orderly home, nurture a loving partnership, mindfully parent our children and have rock-star success in our careers and businesses. But in the middle of a pandemic where life is topsy-turvy, it’s a nearly impossible vision. The clients, colleagues and friends I have connected with over the past year all talk about having to lower expectations, decrease standards, and simply let a lot of things go.
The reality is that women have been hit especially hard by the pandemic. TIME magazine reports that women’s overall health around the world has suffered. The Harvard Business Review reports that women’s anxiety and depression has increased due to the pandemic. The New York Times proclaims “America’s Mothers are in Crisis.”
Right now, we need to give ourselves permission more than ever! I’ve been speaking and writing about permission for years. So often we wait for someone else to give us permission. But to be truly free and sovereign, we have to give it to ourselves. I learned this lesson early on in my junior year of high school when a teacher told me I couldn’t use the restroom after I politely asked. You can hear how that turned out when you flip to Chapter 7 of my book, Smart Self-Care for Busy Women.
Please, please, please stop waiting for someone else to give you permission. You hold both the lock AND the key to your happiness and fulfillment. Re-energize yourself by choosing to stop, rest or slow down. Empower yourself by saying no, letting go or ditching the drama. Get inspired by saying yes to trusting your intuition, creating art and loving your body!
So, grab your journal right now and answer the following. (Or call one of your trusted confidantes and discuss these.)
I give myself permission to _______________________.
When I do this I will feel _______________________.
I will encourage other women in my life to give themselves permission to ___________________.
When you give yourself permission to not be perfect, you give yourself love and grace, time and space.
That’s worth celebrating. Cheers to permission!
Elizabeth
P.S. Articles you may have missed…
A Resilience Ritual: Honor the Grief, Express the Gratitude
Imagine You Are a Master at Self-Care
Health Challenges: 5 Steps to Intentional Healing