Has anyone ever simply called you out of the blue and it just made your day?
Well, that happened to me twice last week!
A friend from my days of living in Asheville, NC called and while we’d kept up on Facebook, we hadn’t spoken on the phone in more than 7 or 8 years. She’d been following my story with my Mom and wanted to reach out in a more meaningful way. She recently got married so we had a lot to catch up on. It was so good to hear her voice and remember her laugh! Her call mattered.
Then a friend from church called–we usually just text or email–but she said “You know, I was thinking of you and thought “What the heck!” I’ll go old school and give you a call!” We had a great conversation that made me feel like she really cared.
Times of big life transition bring out the best in people… funerals, weddings and especially new babies! It’s when we reach out to say “We’re thinking of you.”, “Congratulations!” or “We’re so sorry!” or “I love you.” or “YAY!”
In addition to dozens of phone calls since my Mom died, I’ve received a huge stack of the loveliest handwritten cards on personal stationery or beautiful sympathy cards with lovely sayings and inspiring quotes that make me cry! I’ve saved them all. (And I still have all of the cards that people sent when my father died 22 years ago.)
All of these ways of reaching out are reminders to me that no matter the situation–a birth, a death, a marriage, a big anniversary (especially 25 and 50!), a job promotion… whatever… it really matters to take it old school with your communications!
Need help going “old school”? Here are some suggestions to prime the pump:
- Pick up the phone and call someone instead of sending a text or email. You can hear so much more when you listen to tone and inflection. Plus, genuine belly laughter is so much more heartwarming to hear with your own ears than to see a smiley face emoticon or an LOL on a screen.
- Write a hand written letter instead of sending a text or email. There’s something so intimate about someone’s handwriting and them sharing it with you. Letters are a lost art these days, but people treasure them! (when I was going through my mom’s things, I found a HUGE stack of all of the cards that Eric, Riley and I and other friends and family had given her since her move to Texas 3 ½ years ago.) We keep letters… but we delete emails!
- At work, get up from your desk and walk out of your office into someone else’s office and talk with him or her directly instead of sending them an email or text. Your communication may possibly take less time (instead of back and forth emails or texts) and you may squeeze in a few extra minutes of social time which is important for building good quality relationships at work.
- When leading a meeting or facilitating a workshop, get people to talk with one another instead of relying solely on lecture or PowerPoint slides to deliver your content. Delivering meaty content is important but so is social interaction and engagement. I had the privilege of being a keynote speaker at BASF’s Women in Business Annual Development Workshop last week and we got people engaged by simply asking each other meaningful questions. They seemed to have a blast. Remember that people learn better when they are active and engaged versus passive and listening.
- At home, designate regular “game nights” instead of looking at TV or your devices. Play board games with the kids like the classics a lot of us grew up with – Parcheesi, Monopoly, Scrabble and more. Our 5 year old has learned a lot about game strategy, thinking ahead, counting and numbers, money and more by playing Frozen Monopoly on a regular (too regular!) basis! We need to let our kids remind us of the value of play in our connections.
When was the last time you went “old school” in your communications? What did you do? When was the last time you were a recipient of “old school” communication? How did it feel? Send me a note and tell me about it!
Here’s to going old school!
Elizabeth