Recently, I spoke to a local women’s service organization about the value of self-care. We were discussing the demands of juggling work, family, volunteer responsibilities and other commitments.
I asked the audience “How many of you willingly offer your help when someone is in need?” Every hand in the room went up.
Then I asked “So how many of you are good at asking for help when you need it?” And only a smattering of hands raised.
When I questioned them about the discrepancy, some of them looked sheepish and almost guilty.
“I don’t want to bother other people.”
“My parents taught me to be self-sufficient.”
“My problems aren’t as bad as ________’s”
I’ve also heard from my coaching clients…
“I should manage my time better.”
“I’m just an independent person, that’s all.”
“I don’t want to appear weak and like I can’t handle things.”
The truth is, we all need help from time to time. Just this week, there were several people around me who were struggling with big life things:
– My cousins had to bury their mother.
– A local friend had to enroll her mother in hospice care.
– A man was hurt in an industrial accident in my neighborhood and had to be flown via Life Flight out of my neighborhood just 100 feet from my front door.
– A treasured client learned that her husband has a rare heart condition.
– A long time out of state friend was in Houston preparing to have major surgery here at MD Anderson as part of her cancer treatment.
Tough stuff, all of it. In each circumstance, they have had to rely on other people for help. In some cases, they asked for help from a few trusted friends or relatives. In the case of the worker who was injured, there were probably two dozen helpers on the scene…firefighters, EMTs, police officers.
Hopefully whatever you are facing at the moment as you read this, is not nearly as dramatic as the examples that I have shared. However, there are extreme situations like this that we all face where we must accept help.
So why not practice getting good at asking for help with the somewhat smaller struggles we face in our daily lives?
Here’s a quick quiz to help you do an assessment of where you might benefit from reaching out and asking for help.
Help! I Need Somebody! Quickie Quiz
Ask yourself…where am I feeling overwhelmed and where could I use some assistance? Answer the questions below and then pick one or two items that you are going to ask for help with to get you started.
1. I need help around the house with ____________________________________.
Who can help? Partner, kids, relative, neighborhood teenagers, housekeeper, lawn service, professional organizer
2. I need help with some health issues including ____________________________________.
Who can help? Doctor, a nutritionist, a personal trainer, an acupuncturist or chiropractor, your friend who is going through a similar health crisis, an online support group
3. I need help with my business or my career in these ways ___________________________.
Who can help? Your boss, your employees, your colleagues, your business coach, someone in HR, an assistant, hiring the right contractor, a mastermind group
4. I need help with managing my finances in these areas _____________________________.
Who can help? A financial planner, an accountant, your banker, your partner
5. I need help with my family responsibilities (children, parents, pets) __________________.
Who can help? Your partner, a family member, a babysitter or nanny, a tutor, other parents in your child’s class, teachers
6. I could use some spiritual support in these areas __________________________________.
Who can help? Minister, rabbi, spiritual mentor, intuitive coach, your spirit guides or angels, your ancestors, a psychic, an astrologer
Hit “Reply” and let me know where you’re going to reach out and ask for help this week. I’d love to know so that I can cheer you on.
Here’s to asking for (and gratefully receiving!) help!
Elizabeth
P.S. This week is International Coaches Week. One of the best things I ever did for my career and for my life was to hire a coach! After more than eighteen years in the business, I love empowering my clients to ask for and receive help. If you’re ready to explore working with me as your coach, let’s chat!