Mother’s Day can evoke a spectrum of emotions ranging from joy and gratitude to grief and longing. If you are fortunate to have loving and supportive relationships with the mother figures in your life, the day serves as a joyful reminder to celebrate and cherish these special women.
But if you’ve lost your mother or have a strained (or non-existent) relationship, or have experienced infertility or infant loss, Mother’s Day can be a painful reminder of those complex experiences.
How ever you choose to spend this day, be gentle with yourself and your feelings.
If you do decide to honor this day in a special way but want to add more intentionality, meaning and magic into this somewhat traditional holiday—whether your mother is living or deceased—here are a few ideas to add some sacred ritual…
** Please note: I’m going to use “mom” or “mother” below, but if you have a grandmother, auntie, sister or other woman in your life, this applies to anyone you choose to honor (including yourself!)**
5 Meaningful Ritual Ideas for Mother’s Day
1. Connect Through Flowers
If your Mom loves flowers, consider customizing a beautiful bouquet of posies designed to convey a special message to her. Daisies represent joy and cheerfulness. Pink roses represent grace and gentleness. Dahlias represent elegance and creativity. Look up the symbolism of other flowers, and create a bouquet imbued with personal meaning. A great gift to go along with the flowers is Vanessa Diffenbach’s The Language of Flowers, one of my favorite novels!
If your mother is no longer living, you could bring a bouquet of her favorite flowers to her grave or keep them in a sunny spot in your living room to remind you of her. Or, if you’re feeling tender and grieving this Mother’s Day, consider doing a simple flower ceremony at a moving body of water – ideally a pretty creek or stream but the ocean or a lake can work too! You can design your own version of the white rose ceremony that I wrote about in my book Sacred Celebrations: Designing Rituals to Navigate Life’s Milestone Transitions.
2. Prepare Delicious Food
Food is always good! If you live near your Mom, try preparing a special meal using one of your family recipes as a nod to your ancestry. If you live far away, you could send her a gift certificate to her favorite restaurant and invite her to take a friend or relative for company since you’re unable to be with her.
If your mother has died and you have an ancestral altar (even something simple as a photo of her with a flower), you could leave a small plate of some of her favorite foods as an offering. I often leave my mom (Joan) coffee, Jordan almonds and little glasses of white wine. Since my birthmom Kathy died last year, I’ve taken to offering her treats of peppermint candies, sugar packets (we found them stashed everywhere in her house!) and more coffee.
3. Choose Thoughtful Jewelry
Consider giving your mother a piece of jewelry that holds special significance. Jewelry can serve as a tangible reminder of your love and appreciation that she can wear regularly. Whether it’s a necklace with her birthstone or a bracelet engraved with a meaningful message, the gift of jewelry can be cherished for years to come. Of course, if she’s a dragonfly lover or into crystals and stones, I’d love to mail one of my Sacred Celebrations gemstone bracelets to her! (use coupon code ILOVEMOM20 to save 20% by May 5th!)
When honoring a deceased mother or grandmother, wearing her jewelry or passing on heirloom pieces can serve as a beautiful tribute, keeping her presence close to your heart on Mother’s Day and beyond. I’ve been wearing two gold necklaces a lot lately—one from each of my mothers.
4. Share Heartfelt Words
Get creative and take time to express your love and appreciation for your mother by writing her a heartfelt card or poem. Maybe make a list of 10 or 100 valuable lessons you’ve learned from her. (Treat others how you want to be treated. Do your best. Always wear lipstick!) Or you could choose highlights from your past year together and write about what they meant to you.
If your mom is no longer living or if you’re estranged from her, create a sacred space in your journal to gather memories and thoughts about her. Write a letter to her, pouring out your feelings and expressing anything you wish you could have said. Consider this letter as a way to communicate with her energetically, sending your love despite the circumstances.
5. Perform Good Deeds
Whether your mother is living or deceased, performing acts of kindness and service in her honor can be a beautiful tribute. For a living mother, consider offering tangible help like washing her car, cooking a week’s worth of food for her or doing some gardening at her house. Maybe she’s got a stack of photographs that need hanging and could use an extra hand!
If your mother has passed away, you could volunteer at a charity or organization that was important to her or donate to one of her favorite causes. These acts can serve to keep her spirit alive and continue the values she instilled in you.
If you have a special Mother’s Day ritual in your family, or you have been the recipient of a special gift, I’d love to hear about it! Leave a comment and let me know.
No matter the circumstances, the spirit of Mother’s Day lies in the love and appreciation we have for the maternal figures in our lives. By incorporating meaningful rituals like these, we can make the day not only a celebration but also a heartfelt expression of gratitude and remembrance.