A cross-country move is not for the faint of heart.
Nor is starting a business, getting married, becoming a parent, losing a job, buying or selling a house, caring for an aging parent, going through a divorce, grieving the death of a loved one, or any other major transition you can think of. (I’ve navigated all of those, too)
Change is hard. But it’s also exciting.
Change can be overwhelming. It can also be incredibly freeing.
Change requires letting go. And it also encourages embracing new possibilities.
As I’ve been reflecting on the whirlwind that has been the past eight weeks of my life—moving the three humans and three pets of our family from Texas to North Carolina—I realized we’ve managed it incredibly well. We’ve had few tears, even fewer anger episodes, and a reasonable amount of sleep most nights.
Has the move gone smoothly? Many parts, yes.
Other parts, not so much.
But when I compare it to other moves I’ve made (more than a dozen as an adult, and more as a kid) I realize it’s been my attitude and my perspective that has made all the difference.
Here are a few secrets to success when you’re navigating a Big. Life. Change.
1. Things will go wrong. Even when it seems like things are going smoothly. It’s inevitable that something won’t go as planned. Take a deep breath and do your best to be in the moment and problem solve.
When our car broke down costing us seven hours of travel time and a bunch of money to fix, I focused on the fact that we were safe and together. Our car broke down on a side road (not the highway), the tow truck driver gave us a lift (squeezing into his cab) to the service station and the dealership had a comfortable waiting area and while we worried about the pets, several staff members were friendly and stopped by to pet Daisy Dog or say hello to kitties, Coco and Tang.
2. Let go of your desire to control everything. Let it all unfold as it should. One of my favorite mantras is “Divine timing, not my timing”.
I desperately wanted Riley to start school with her classmates on August 17th but we didn’t close on our new house until August 21st and the school wouldn’t enroll her officially until we showed them our settlement agreement from closing. I was so worried she’d get behind. Turns out, the kids were only doing laid back “get to know you” activities the first two weeks and she didn’t miss any real instruction.
3. Ask for help. Receive it gratefully when it is offered.
I had several friends offer to help pack in Houston. At first, I thought I could do it all myself but I quickly realized that I still wanted to get a good night’s sleep each night. By saying yes to those friends, it enabled me to have some quality time with them chatting and laughing while we were packing and I was able to grab 7-8 hours of sleep each night which I think was a key part of my success at staying calm in times of chaos.
4. Express gratitude for the little things every single day. Keep your vibration high by focusing on the positives, not the negatives.
Soon after we arrived at the new house, Riley fell down the stairs from the garage to the kitchen and we found ourselves at Urgent Care thinking she had broken her thumb. Fortunately, it was just a sprain, but I found myself thinking “Thank goodness it’s not her head. A broken thumb we can handle!”
5. Retain your sense of humor. It’s so much better to laugh about the mishaps.
Ever tried to let a cat use a litter box in the front seat of your car while the dog and kid are taking up the back seat? It’s a pretty hilarious sight. It’s kinda gross, too, especially when they kick up the litter everywhere. But, when you’re in the car for 30 hours with pets—you gotta do, what you gotta do! Turns out we developed a little routine and it worked out just fine. But we were laughing the whole time at how crazy it was.
If you have a funny story to share about a move you experienced, I’d love to hear about it or if you have other secrets to keep your cool in times of change…I’d love to hear those, too. Leave a comment and let me know.
Cheers to Change!
Elizabeth
P.S. Also, I’ll be back to work seeing coaching clients next week so if you’re going through any kind of transition right now and in need of some intuitive coaching guidance or more traditional life and business coaching, you can sign up for September sessions now!