In my last article, I wrote about the death of my (birth)mother, her husband and a dear friend and the deep grief and how I was processing it.
Just a few days after that, on Monday, May 8th, I was in a near fatal head-on collision.
Another driver pulled in front of me without warning and I hit him head on. The front end of my car exploded into a million pieces and I left my body immediately with the thought “This is it!” I was calm, peaceful, and surrendered. There was no fear. No anxiety. No worry. Simply peace and acceptance. I saw an outline to a tunnel of the white light that I’d heard people refer to in NDEs (Near Death Experiences) and started to move toward it. But then the thought/visual/sound of my sweet daughter “RILEY!” came into my awareness and I slammed back into my body.
Once the car stopped spinning, I remember looking down at my legs and was genuinely surprised to see them. I saw smoke (I didn’t understand at the time it was from the air bag deployment) and thought my car was going to light on fire, so adrenaline kicked in and I started to unbuckle my seat belt. I remember thinking “I can’t believe my legs are here, my arms work and I can unbuckle my seatbelt!” I stumbled out of the car and was greeted by an Earth Angel dressed in royal blue named Jessica who came running toward me. She enveloped me in her arms and just held me whispering “You’re OK. You’re alive. You’re gonna be OK. I was in a similar accident years ago myself. You’re OK.”
It’s truly a miracle that I’m alive.
I have a significant concussion, a bruised coccyx, and my entire body was seriously beat up in the wreck but, I walked away with no broken bones or punctured organs.
Over the past two months, I’ve been doing deep healing work. I’ve been receiving concussion care at the world-class Apex Brain Centers doing hyperbaric oxygen tank therapy, cold laser therapy, gaze stabilization exercises, vibration therapy, convergence therapy, neurofeedback, interactive metronome, and more. In addition, I’ve also done EMDR, acupuncture, chiropractic and physical therapy along with working with my shaman and my therapist.
After several weeks, I was able to care for Riley again, resume driving, and I even returned to phone coaching with my current clients who are a source of joy and inspiration to me. But the rhythm of my days is very different. I’m spending lots of time in nature, minimal time on screens, napping 1-2x/day, moving my body, and doing all of my brain exercises religiously.
May 8th was a life changing day for me. I’m sure you’ve had those, too. Life before and after _____________ happened. The death of a loved one. A major move. Meeting the love of your life. A difficult health diagnosis. A natural disaster. A new job. It rocks your world.
Practicing smart self-care during these times is absolutely essential.
For good and for bad, life is short. Things can change on a dime. I was already keenly aware of that after the recent and sudden death of my mother and stepdad but it was taken to a whole new octave with this car accident.
I don’t know what’s next for me. I feel changes brewing, but nothing has clarified itself for me yet. I’m trusting the process (which is hard for a planner like me!) and sitting in the discomfort of the unknown.
At this point, I’m considering myself on a modified sabbatical. I’m not doing most of my work activities except for calls with clients. Everything else can wait. So, I probably won’t be writing again until the fall…I’m hoping by September I’ll be able to have my brain back online even more.
Please know I have an INCREDIBLE support system here in Asheville. My friends have been rockstars with providing meals and offering rides. Whitney and Joe, two of my best friends, stayed with me 24-7 for the first 4 days after the accident because of the concussion. Eric has been a tremendous help with Riley. I feel very loved and I’m so grateful that I’m still here. I’ve got important work to do still and a daughter to raise!
Sending you good thoughts for summertime and a gentle reminder to be fully present with the sweet abundance of summer. Enjoy more time in the sunshine, backyard cookouts, juicy watermelons, summer blooms, vacation with your family and/or friends, and the richness of what summer brings. We don’t know how many summers we’ll be granted, so enjoy each one to the fullest!
P.S. My sister thought I looked like a Minion here!
