Over the past eight years of consistently sending out a newsletter, I’ve only missed two weeks of writing to you, my cherished community. The first was after my adoptive mom, Joan, died on September 11, 2016. And the second was two weeks ago when my biological mom, Kathy, died on April 7, 2023.
If you’ve had a major loss in your life, you know the days and weeks following the tragic event seem surreal. You want to scream and yell for the world to @#$% stop already! But bills still need to be paid, kids still need to go to school, and meals still need to be put on the table to feed your family.
I have a lot to write about the events of the past month but I’ll be honest, I just can’t right now. My stepdad Richard died on March 25th, then my birthmom on April 7th, and then the morning of April 8th I learned the news that a dear, dear friend Brenda had lost her 7-year battle with cancer.
I planned and facilitated a dual funeral for my mother and her beloved partner on April 13th – what would have been our 24th anniversary of our adoption reunion. It was probably one of *the* most Sacred Celebrations of my life. Sometime in the future, I’ll tell you about it. So many special memories, lots of laughs and plenty of tears.
But for now, I’m being present with the intensity of the grief and I’m allowing it to break me open. When people ask me how I am, I usually respond by saying “Today I’m _______” and then I’m honest if it’s a good day or not such a good day. It’s a relief to be honest about how I’m really doing. Using the concepts I teach in my first book, I’m doing my best to practice the art of smart self-care.
- I’m taking long walks and hikes in the woods.
- I sleep long hours and take naps when time allows.
- I’m crying a lot.
- I’m talking with my family, trusted friends and my therapist and healers who support me.
- I’m nourishing my body with good food.
- I’m journaling, praying and meditating.
So today I want to leave you with some articles I’ve written in the past about grief. It’s where my heart is right now and I know so many others are dealing with grief of some sort – whether it’s the death of a loved one or some other great loss. May you find comfort and inspiration here.
Five Simple Grief Rituals for Times of Crisis – Easy to do rituals that help you process loss
Good Grief: Teaching Kids to Process Death – Including them in the experience helps them to heal
How Do You Do Grief? – It’s quite personal for each of us – several good book recs here that several readers have thanked me for
The Best Gifts to Give Someone Who Is Grieving – My most popular article on grief that elicited a lot of positive feedback from readers, this is the one I wrote after my mom, Joan, died.
Peace to you and yours,
Elizabeth
P.S. Mother’s Day is coming up on May 14th. It’s going to be a hard day for me this year. And yet, I’ll be celebrating the fact that I was blessed to have TWO mothers. If your mother (or grandmother or stepmother or aunt or any other special mother figure in your life!) is still living, I hope you show her some love on this special day. I’d be delighted to send out one (or several of) of our Sacred Celebrations bracelets for you! Choose from rose quartz, turquoise, moonstone, tiger’s eye, hematite, amethyst, aventurine and so many more. Click below to shop the collection. A portion of all sales will be donated to Tunnel to Towers Foundation, the chosen nonprofit organization of Kathy + Richard.
