When I was a kid, I was really bored in school. In second grade, I remember having to stay in from recess and write on the chalkboard “I will not talk during class” one hundred times on the board.
Clearly, it didn’t have much impact on me because I kept getting in trouble. As I got older, I got my seat moved in school – a lot.
I remember being moved three separate times in 3rd grade (Mrs. Detzer had no tolerance for my gabby ways), once in 8th grade (nor did Mrs. Harris) and once in 11th grade (Mrs. Rhodes is the reason I met my first husband! She put me in the front row but against the wall, so I’d turn sideways in my chair and we’d sit and write notes to each other during class).
Then in high school, I acted in improv theatre and in college I offered educational speaking gigs on health and wellness issues to other students on campus.
I remember hearing my parents say things to me like “you talk too loud/too fast/too much” and “you need to tone down your expressions when you talk” (apparently my big eyes would bug out even bigger when I was making a point and my hands would gesticulate wildly and that wasn’t very becoming for a young lady) and “why do you always need to be out with your friends? Can’t you just do something by yourself?”
So for many years, I got the message that I was “too much”. Too social, too chatty, too talkative, too whatever.
Then, when I started my own business in 2000 and started speaking to groups to build my coaching practice, I realized that all of these things that I thought were character flaws were actually my natural strengths… and started to use them to my advantage.
Even though I’d been talking other people’s ears off since I was in elementary school, I didn’t really find my voice until I was 30. (Ironically, it’s the year that I started my business and soon after, separated from my first husband. Coincidental? I think not.)
What does it mean to find your voice?
- Believe that your ideas, thoughts and opinions matter – and share them with others.
- Know your values and stick to them, even when it might be against the norm.
- Ask for help, even when it’s uncomfortable.
- Realize that you can sit and complain about something or you can speak up and do something to change it (the whole “be part of the solution, not part of the problem” concept!)
- Be in integrity with yourself – stop caring what other people think about you and worry more about what you think about yourself.
What does this have to do with smart self-care?
EVERYTHING!
When you apply these concepts to incorporating smart self-care into your life, things get so much easier!
YOU perfect the art of asking for – and receiving – help.
YOU take time to revitalize because you know that you deserve it!
YOU only say yes to projects that delight you and you politely decline those that don’t.
YOU decide to stop being tired and simply go rest (take a nap, go to bed early, enjoy quiet time).
YOU finally let go of the guilt because you realize that it doesn’t serve you AT. ALL.
Exercising your voice is VERY freeing.
Revitalization Action: So what do YOU need to speak up about today? Let me know in the comments below!