Last week, on my Facebook page, I asked my community “What are the messages that you received about self-care from an important woman (mom/grandma/sister/aunt) in your life?”
Sadly, so many of the messages were negative.
They learned things like:
- Self-care is selfish.
- Everyone else’s needs come first, yours come last.
- You’re not worthy of self-care.
- The only kind of self-care that matters is taking care of your looks.
- Self-care costs money and time. You don’t have either.
Women are carrying around generations of lies and un-truths about self-care.
Old cultural beliefs learned from mothers and grandmothers
that no longer have place in today’s modern, progressive world.
I want to challenge these negative self-care messages. And I want YOU to challenge them too. If you won’t do it for yourself, then do it for your children. If you want to care for and nurture the people you love, you have to care for and nurture yourself!
The Truth is…
- Self-care is essential to your well-being.
- Self-care is an investment in your mind, body and spirit.
- Self-care is fuel for everyday living.
- Self-care is life-giving on days when you are desperate to keep up with the speed and complexities of life.
- Self-care doesn’t have to require a lot of time or money to be effective.
So what’s a girl to do when she realizes she has these old, negative tapes running in her head?
It’s time to euthanize those old beliefs! STAT!
Let them have a gentle and quiet death so they no longer have power over you. It’s actually a loving thing to painlessly release those old, stifling beliefs. As you put those to rest, you will breathe new life and new energy into your self-care routine and your mind, body and spirit will thank you!
You might think “But Elizabeth, I’ve had that thought or belief for decades! Since I was a child! I can’t possibly change it overnight.”
Ahhhhh, dear reader, but I beg to differ. A great way to loving release these limiting beliefs and then turn them into empowering ones is to do an exercise that I call The Shift List. It’s pretty easy but can be really powerful.
The Shift List
I’ve learned different variations on this exercise from my coaches throughout the years. So I’m presenting it to you in a way that has worked for me and my clients over the past 15 years.
Step 1
Take a piece of paper. Draw a line down the middle. On the left side, make a list of everything you ever learned about self-care. Good, bad and neutral.
Step 2
Then on the right side of the page, carry over any beliefs you want to continue to hold about self-care (if they are happy, positive, practical, keep them!).
For the ones that you don’t want to carry over, choose a positive, more empowering belief and write it on the right side of the page.
Let’s say on your list you have “Sleep 8 hours a night” and “Self-care costs too much money.”
Definitely keep the “Sleep 8 hours a night” belief because it’s a pretty great way to practice self-care. The body craves rest and renewal to run efficiently and effectively.
Consider changing “Self-care costs too much money” to something like “Self-care doesn’t have to cost a lot to be effective” or “My self-care matters and I’m worthy of investing in!” See how that feels different and more empowering when you say it?
Step 3
Rip your list in half. Hang the right side of the list on your fridge, on your bathroom mirror or in your office as a reminder of your new empowering beliefs around self-care.
Then, take the left half of your list… and burn it! You can create a little ceremony around this if you like. Or make it even more powerful by doing it with friends. But burning old beliefs is a very powerful way to state to the Universe that you are ready to let go and let God!
The good news is that you don’t have to let your old stories and beliefs from previous generations control your current reality! You have the power to choose new, empowering beliefs today.
Revitalized Action: Make your Shift List today. Comment below and let me know where you are going to hang your new list and let me know how your burning ceremony went! Inquiring minds want to know! 🙂
Here’s to new empowering beliefs!
Elizabeth