What would you do if life handed you a plot twist you never saw coming?
Last weekend I spoke at a national adoption conference in Atlanta called Untangling Our Roots, an event that unites the adoption, assisted reproduction, and NPE (not parent expected) communities into one powerful voice for truth, healing, and connection.
I offered CEUs to therapists and other healing professionals on “Navigating Reunion with GRACE,” my signature talk on building healthy long-term relationships with new genetic family members. I also shared the stage in a session on the power of storytelling with two bright colleagues—Jean Widner, author of The Adoption Paradox (a must-read for anyone in the adoption community!) and J. Steve Osborne, author of DNA Did Not Anticipate, about Steve’s late discovery that his biological dad was different than the man who raised him.
I heard stories like my own, where people grew up knowing they were adopted and ultimately searched for biological family members—some successfully, some not so much.
But I also heard stories of DNA surprises that could easily compete for the title of “best plot twist”:
- One woman learned in her 60s—after both of her parents had died—that she had been adopted, when she found the paperwork in her parent’s files. Can you imagine?
- Another person learned through DNA testing that they were conceived through a sperm donor and had a few dozen biological siblings. Talk about overwhelming!
- And my friend Steve learned that the dad he thought was his dad wasn’t his biological father at all. The mom he knew was, in his words, “a good Christian woman who attended church regularly and took in dozens of foster children.” But DNA revealed she’d had a wilder side in her younger days—and Steve was conceived at a swinger’s party! (No judgment here—Steve told this story himself, with a lot of hard-won laughter, because it completely upended everything he thought he knew about his family and his own identity.)
Every single one of these people had their world turned upside-down. And every single one faced the same moment of decision:
- Do I look, or do I look away?
- Do I reach out, or do I protect myself?
- Do I let this change me, or do I pretend it didn’t happen?
That’s the moment courage lives in.
So, let me ask you directly: What are you facing right now? Where do you need to be more courageous?
Sometimes we hang on realllllly tightly to something that no longer serves us—a soul-sucking job, a relationship that expired years ago, a thought or belief that does more harm than healing.
The courage comes when we give ourselves permission to envision what’s possible and think: That’s what I’d really love—I wonder if I could have that?
Courage comes from curiosity and wonder. From understanding that we need to let go to create space. From a willingness to get uncomfortable, to try something new or risky. From drawing on our own resilience—knowing we’ve done hard things before and survived them, even thrived because of them. And from leaning into the support of our communities: our book clubs, our pickleball friends, our mom groups, our running buddies.
If life has handed you a plot twist lately—big or small—I’d love to help you navigate it. Book a 20-minute call with me.
We are living in genuinely uncertain times, and it can be hard to summon courage when so much feels unstable. But summon it we must—in our personal lives and in our communities. Feel the fear and do it anyway. Act even when you’re unsure. See setbacks not as failures but as preparation for what’s next. Think globally, act locally.
This is exactly why my work is evolving. I’m expanding my life and business coaching to include some of my most personal and powerful work to date: guiding people through the complexities of adoption reunion, and training therapists, social workers, and other healthcare professionals on the unique challenges that adoption constellation members face. If you or someone you know would benefit from this kind of support—or if your organization might be interested in a training—let’s connect.
Here’s to embracing courage for all your new beginnings.
Whatever plot twist you’re navigating, you don’t have to face it alone.