This week, I’m back to work full-time. It’s been four months since my life altering accident which led to an unplanned sabbatical. And just five months since the overwhelming grief of my mother and stepdad dying.
But my brain is back online, and my body gets stronger every day. Am I completely recovered? No.
I still have bouts of dizziness and occasional vertigo. I can tolerate screens now, but not for long, and I must take more breaks than I used to. Tailbone pain continues to plague me and I can’t sit comfortably for periods of time. My back, shoulder, and neck are still working out the kinks. I’m mostly comfortable driving but any erratic driving on the part of other drivers shoots my anxiety sky high.
This unplanned (forced, necessary, non-optional) sabbatical was a very dark and difficult time for me. For the first two months, I wasn’t even totally here. In shamanic language, I experienced soul loss in the accident and it took a while for me, working carefully with my shamanic practitioner, mentor, and teacher Marna, to bring those parts back home. Maybe someday I’ll write about that for those that want to learn more but for now, I’m still processing at a deep level.
The good news is that over the past few weeks, I’ve seen friends I haven’t seen in a few months and they’ve all exclaimed “Wow, you’re back! Your light, your energy, your sparkle—it’s back!” So, the timing of this article coming out in Bold Journey magazine was really perfect. In it, I talk about the reconfiguration of my family with Eric and Riley over the past two years and I share a bit about my accident, my work in the world, and the importance of connection, community and celebration.
Here are 5 things that I learned from my experience and my unplanned sabbatical:
1. I’m not afraid to die. Facing death was not scary at all. It was peaceful, surrendered, and filled with love. And honestly? Coming back feels harder. It’s been filled with pain, anguish, and frustration. Going would have been easier. I had to choose to stay. I’m glad I did. And whew!
2. It’s not selfish to prioritize myself and my healing. I couldn’t even care for my daughter for the first few weeks after the accident. Fortunately, her dad is a rockstar and handled that effortlessly. And, if he weren’t, I would have had friends who would have filled the gap.
3. Speaking of friends…community is everything. When the s@#t hit the fan, my people showed up. I have the best friends in the world. I already knew that but in times of crisis, the evidence is staggering, mind-blowing, and very humbling. I’m filled with a bottomless well of gratitude.
4. When your brain doesn’t work, your life doesn’t work. My high school bestie is a brain health expert and now I get why she geeks out on this stuff. And I understand more clearly why we are all walking around struggling—so many people have undiagnosed brain trauma and it impacts every facet of life.
5. Mother Nature is the greatest healer of all. I’ve written about this before, but I can’t stop shouting it from the rooftops. Over the past few months, I’ve found the biggest ROI on sitting in the glorious sunshine, lying on the warm ground, hiking through the dense woods, sitting staring at the majestic mountains, dipping my toes in a babbling stream, or hugging a tree. Just a little bit of connection with Mother Nature changes everything.
I hope these reflections help you on your own journey. Whether you’re faced with a life-altering situation, deep-seated grief, or another life event that causes you to pause and reassess…remember to be gentle with yourself.
Let me know how you are these days by leaving a comment. I love getting updates from you!
Blessings,
Elizabeth
P.S. For those local to Asheville or visiting Western North Carolina, join me Saturday September 9th from 2pm-6pm in Weaverville at a Pop-Up Market at Hoppy Trees Wine + Spritzer bar with several other local artists! Sacred Celebrations gemstone bracelets will be on sale!