Poet Robert Frost famously wrote “The only way out is through” and I have found that to be true the older (and hopefully wiser) I get. When I was younger, I tried to circumvent certain experiences or emotions in search of a shortcut through pain, confusion, and uncertainty. Now solidly in my mid-fifties, I’ve come to understand that the quickest way to heal and gain clarity from an experience is to face it head on. And it’s not always quick. It takes as long as it takes.
Perhaps you, too, have found yourself navigating through challenging times, facing storms of grief, loss, and change. It’s exhausting, overwhelming, defeating and many times, can be life-altering. As a seasoned life coach with a deep understanding of these struggles, I’ve witnessed the transformational power that emerges when we can move through these times with clear intentions.
When we embrace the four pillars of Grief, Grit, Gratitude, and Grace, it can help us to find solid ground after tumultuous times. In my new coaching program Solid Ground, we work intimately with these four concepts combining practical wisdom with spiritual insights for healing and transformation.
Grief: Embracing the Healing Journey
Grief is a natural and profound response to loss or change, and allowing ourselves to fully experience it is the first step toward healing. Grief is not pretty—it’s messy, uncomfortable, brain fog inducing, overwhelming, confusing and often deeply painful. Grief is not a sign of weakness but a testament to the depth of our experiences. Actively grieving is a sacred process, a cocoon of transformation where we shed old layers and emerge with a renewed sense of self.
Gentle guidance for you: Create sacred space for your grief through journaling, meditation, or seeking support from loved ones. Allow the waves of emotion to wash over you, understanding that each tear carries the promise of healing.
Grit: Cultivating Resilience
Grit is the inner strength that propels us forward when the path is uncertain and challenging. During transitions—endings and beginnings—we must tap into our reservoirs of resilience, summoning the courage to face adversity head-on. These challenges are always opportunities for growth (a long- time friend refers to them as AFGEs—Another F&*%ing Growth Experience!), recognizing that the seeds of transformation often sprout in the darkest of soils.
Gentle guidance for you: Start to cultivate grit by setting small, achievable goals. Celebrate your victories, no matter how minor, and draw inspiration from the strength within. Remember that challenges are stepping stones on your path to becoming a more resilient, empowered version of yourself.
Gratitude: Appreciation Changes Everything
In the face of adversity, practicing gratitude opens our hearts to the beauty and abundance that surround us. Gratitude is a powerful force that shifts our focus from what if to what is. It invites us to be fully steeped in the present reality of what is positive in our lives which is important when life feels especially hard. Gratitude is a sacred practice that aligns us with the flow of the universe, attracting positive energy into our lives.
Gentle guidance for you: Keep a gratitude journal and reflect daily on the blessings, both big and small. Express gratitude for the lessons learned through challenges, recognizing them as catalysts for personal growth. By cultivating gratitude, you invite abundance and positivity into your life even in the midst of grief, loss and change.
Grace: Embracing Self-Compassion
Grace is the gentle embrace of self-compassion during times of transformation—it’s being generous to ourselves. When we accept ourselves with kindness, we recognize that we are all imperfect beings on a journey of evolution. As we move forward after traumatic events, we have new wisdom, new insights and new clarity about what matters. Our hearts and minds expand and these experiences serve as stepping stones to a more profound understanding of our purpose.
Gentle guidance for you: Practice self-compassion by treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer a dear friend. Release self-judgment and understand that navigating change is a process. Use kind words and engage in kind deeds—give yourself space and grace to move forward to the next chapter of your life.
I invite you to consider these four pillars on your own. Perhaps grab a journal and write about what comes up for you as you read through these ideas. And please consider joining our circle as we create a healing container in Solid Ground starting next month. It may be for you or for a friend or loved one that you know is going through a hard time.