As we prepare to celebrate Thanksgiving in the United States this week, many people say it’s one of their favorite holidays because it focuses on expressing gratitude for our blessings. It’s all about food, family, friends and fun. What’s not to love? (Oh yeah, and football for some!) It’s usually one of my favorites.
But not this year. This year, I’m sad. But this isn’t a usual year for me. And it’s not been a usual year for a lot of people I know. (And I’m not even talking about world events or politics here!) 2016 has been, by many accounts, a crap*y year!
Maybe you know what I mean…maybe you’re in the same boat…or you’ve had years like I’m describing.
As I reflect personally on 2016, it will go down as one of the most devastating years in my adult life. It’s the year that my mother died. Other “worst years” of my life include 1994 (when my dad died), 2001 (when I got divorced) and 2010 (when I miscarried our twin pregnancy).
And yet, the one thing all of those years have in common is that they’ve made me a stronger human being. During each of those dark times, I had to dig deep and find the strength in me to keep putting one foot in front of the other…Even though there were days I was brought to my knees and I curled up in a ball and didn’t want to leave the house for a month.
Challenging experiences help to develop resilience. It’s like a muscle being exercised. It gets stronger each time you use it and push it beyond what you think it’s capable of.
Hard times also provide gentle reminders that there is still a lot to be grateful for. Here are a few of the things I’m thankful for from this past year.
- Friends and family, neighbors and colleagues who show up to give their support. Some in very surprising and meaningful ways. I continue to be amazed at the tribe of loving human beings I am privileged to have in my life.
- Healing relationships. My mom was a lifelong alcoholic. I spent many years being angry and resentful for the abuse that I endured from her. But in the final years of her life, the gift of cancer allowed me to see her for who she really was…a scared little girl who never felt worthy of love…I was able to forgive her and to love her where she was and to make my peace.
- A renewed lease on life. When you have such close encounters with death and loss, you realize that your time on this planet is really short. You get focused on what really matters and you clarify your goals. The proverbial “bucket list” starts to make more sense when you realize that you don’t want to die an unlived life.
- Deepening spirituality. I’m usually a very extraverted person and this year, I’ve retreated quite a bit. I’ve spent a lot of time in prayer and meditation. I’ve intentionally sought out quiet and solitude, walks in nature and rest in sacred places. I have talked with God, my angels and my ancestors more this year than possibly any other in my life.
So this Thanksgiving, I invite you to specifically think about the trials and tribulations, the challenges, the losses and the grief that you may have experienced this year. How have those experiences turned into opportunities for growth? What have you learned about your own inner strength? With what new awareness will you enter the New Year a few weeks from now?
Wishing you and yours a peaceful Thanksgiving. Grateful to you for being a part of my community,
Elizabeth