I’ve heard my clients say–and I’ll admit I’ve said it, too–“There aren’t enough hours in the day!”
When life gets so overwhelming with work, family, keeping a household, managing finances, finding time to volunteer, exercising and cooking healthy foods… it can be hard to squeeze in any time for fun like watching movies, playing games, going for a leisurely walk or simply hanging out with friends.
One of the main complaints I hear about people’s self-care (or lack thereof) is “I don’t have enough time!”
The New York Times just published an interesting article called “You Don’t Need More Free Time” which I suspect most of my clients–busy professional women raising families, caring for aging parents, volunteering in the community–would balk at!
Of course we need more free time!
But the article suggests that that isn’t true–that it’s about how we are spending our free time that makes the difference in our happiness. To be happier (and healthier, I would assume), we must spend some of our free time with the people we love–our friends and family. Makes sense, right? We are social creatures, after all.
The article posits: “Work-life balance isn’t something you can solve on your own.” What this means is that it’s critical to carve out time with people you care about during your “free time.”
Yet, one of the biggest frustrations that I hear from professional working women is that they have a hard time coordinating gatherings with their friends. Scheduling conflicts arise from kids’ after school activities, volunteer work and family time and often women will go weeks, even months, without spending time with their closest friends.
Can you relate?
If there is “free time” to be had, women will often choose time with their partner and/or children over time with friends. As a result, professional women suffer from a lack of girlfriend support which is vital for our happiness. This article from Psychology Today details why friendship matters.
I’ll admit that this is something I’ve been struggling with recently. Schedule challenges have made it difficult to connect with friends in person and I decided I wanted to change that. So for my recent birthday, I invited several friends to join me for a hike at the local Arboretum and then all go out to lunch. They didn’t all know each other but everyone had such a great time, we agreed to get together every 6-8 weeks or so and explore a new-to-us green space in the city of Houston.
Revitalizing your friendships is important for your health, for your happiness and for your sanity! If spending quality time with friends is something you are challenged with, read below and see what small steps you can take to connect more with your friends, or make new ones!
Revitalizing Action: Evaluate how you’re spending your time. Make sure you are finding balance between time for yourself, time with your family and time with your friends in addition to your regular responsibilities of work and home.
Here are some ideas to amp up the girlfriend time in your life:
1. Identify where you would like more engagement in your life.
- Physical: running, walking, tennis, hiking, yoga
- Creative: knitting, beading, painting, photography
- Spiritual: prayer groups, meditation classes
- Hobbies: book club, travel, cooking, volunteering
- Professional: networking groups, professional development organizations, classes to learn a new skill
2. Join (or start!) a group that meets regularly–weekly or monthly–so you always have it in your schedule. (Remember, if it’s not in your schedule, it’s not in your life!)
- A book club
- An exercise class
- A professional woman’s networking group
- “Girls night out” at a painting or pottery place
- A running club
- A wine tasting group
- A class at your local community college
Consistency is key to help deepen the relationships.
Here’s to more free time with your girlfriends!
Elizabeth