I did it again. I asked for help this week.
Whoa. Stop the presses. I did what?
(I know, crazy, right?)
Strong, independent woman who is great at multi-tasking with running a business, raising a child, caring for a dying mother, doing her best at being a good wife, friend, and community volunteer… actually had to ask for help!
Gasp!
I have a secret… I’ve actually gotten pretty good at asking for help over the years.
(Can you imagine that for yourself? What would that feel like? How might it change your life?)
I don’t do it a lot, but when I do, it’s a clear and direct ask. And I don’t feel guilty about it.
(Oooh…can you imagine THAT for yourself? Getting help AND feeling OK about it?)
You know why I don’t feel guilty? Because when someone asks me for help, and I’m able to, I gladly step up and say “Of course I’ll help you!” I love helping out my friends and colleagues. When I am able to. (To clarify, I am clear that my time and energy are truly free to give. I don’t say yes when I’m overcommitted, sick or running on empty myself.)
I learned many years ago that the “Super Woman” mentality doesn’t work for me. And truthfully, it doesn’t work for 99.99% of people that I know.
It feels good to help others, doesn’t it? So I have to trust (and so do you!) that it makes others feel good to help, too!
I wrote a blog about this subject last year called Asking for Help: What Are You Afraid Of? and gave specific examples of areas in life where you can ask for help. But I figured it was time to broach the subject again. Time and time again, I hear from my clients and from other busy professional women how difficult it is to ask for help. Yet we all find times in our lives where it is necessary–and often life-saving–to do so!
So what actually happened to me this week?
Well, I woke up a few days ago and was running a fever. I facilitate a monthly networking group in my city and I could have tried to power through it and gone anyway. If it was just a cold, I probably would have pushed through, but the truth is, a fever can really mess you up! And who wants to be around someone else with a fever right?
So I reached out to my awesome assistant and said “Hey Danielle, I’m sorry to do this last minute, but could you please run the meeting for me today?” I emailed her my agenda and notes and she pulled it off without a hitch while I crawled back into bed with my cup of tea and sweat shirt and sweat pants on (despite the hot temps outside) and I napped for several hours. After the event was over, I checked in with her and she told me everything went smoothly and not to worry. Ahhhhh. Sweet relief!
One of the important lessons that I’ve learned as a business owner is the importance of asking for help. There will be times, especially if you are a solopreneur like I am, that you just can’t get something done. If you’ve got a network of reliable people who you trust, you’ll always have someone who can “take care of business” for you.
The other thing I’ve learned is that it’s OK to not be perfect. It’s OK to not be able to do it all. That’s part of being human. Showing your vulnerability is how we connect with others… when you admit that “Hey, I don’t have it all together!” the people around you relax and say “Phew! Me neither! Glad to know I’m not alone.”
We’re all in this together. So if you need to ask for help this week, do it. If you are able to offer help to someone else, do it. The world can only be richer and kinder if we all keep looking out for one another.
Revitalizing Action: Try asking for help this week. (You can do it! I believe in you!) Something small or something big, doesn’t matter… just try it and see how it goes? If you’re not sure in what area of your life you could ask for help, get some ideas here or send me a note. I’m glad to help!
Here’s to asking for help!
Elizabeth