Self care sometimes involves making disappointing choices in the short-term for long-term gains.
Recently I chose to remove myself from two commitments I made to other people. One was a professional opportunity, the other was a personal experience.
In both instances, here was the general sequence of events:
- Initially I said “Yes, this sounds great! I’m in!”
- As time went by, I got an intuitive hit “This isn’t right for you, you need to step back while you can.”
- My monkey mind jumped in “But I want to do this! I’m really excited about it! I like the people I’m engaged with. The opportunity is awesome!”
- Monkey mind continued with “And what will they think? I said I’d do it and now I’m backing out? They will think I’m not reliable or a flake or a terrible person!”
- Wise self jumps in with “There are 3 excellent reasons for you to release yourself from this commitment. The other parties involved will understand it has nothing to do with them and everything to do with you. Trust yourself.”
- When I notified the others involved with my commitments of my need to change my plans, I experienced total and complete relief.
- Life goes on.
One of my best friends is always asking me “Where’s the relief? Find the relief. Follow the relief!” and she’s right.
I hate hurting and disappointing others and sometimes that happens when I change my mind.
But even more than that, I hate hurting and disappointing myself.
And that’s where listening to my intuition and acting on it is so critical!
Because I have to live with me. Noone else does.
I don’t want to walk around feeling stressed all the time. I want to feel peace, joy and ease!
Letting go creates space.
Sometimes the space allows something bigger, better, more exciting, more perfect to show up.
And sometimes the space is simply more space.
We all need more breathing room, don’t you think?
Inspired Action: What do you have on your already full plate right now that you could step back from? Think about a work project, a volunteer commitment or some other “yes” you said when you really wanted to say “no”. It’s not too late. You get to change your mind. The power of choices is yours. Relief is yours for the taking.
2 comments
I could have commented again on FB, but this is more immediate here. Thank you for this! Great reminder. This very thing happened to me at my job. I made a decision that would have deeply effected my income then at the last minute I changed my mind. Needless to say, I really upset someone by changing my mind. In the past I would've gone through with it anyway in order to be liked and seen as true to my word. But this time, being true to myself was priority. Then, THE RELIEF of honoring that. It comes much quicker as I practice.
"Being true to myself was the priority" – YES! And then you experienced the subsequent relief… beautiful! Thanks for sharing your story Jen!