Being Present with Grief

by Elizabeth

I learned that my first boyfriend, my first true love, died recently at the age of 51. I was shocked and deeply saddened to know that someone so kind, loving, and vibrant left this Earth seemingly too soon. I spent the days afterward connecting with high school friends, reliving memories, and crying buckets of tears. Who knew that I could grieve so deeply for a man I haven’t seen in over 30 years?

But he was my first love. And if you’re lucky, like I was, you never forget the first person you gave your heart to. He was kind, caring, hard-working and humble as a young man and by all accounts, he carried these traits into his adult life with his beautiful family and a thriving business.

Although we hadn’t kept in touch after high school, I thought of him from time to time and hoped to see him at class reunions but our paths never crossed again. But I have very detailed memories of our time together during our junior year of high school that I will treasure forever. Here’s my Facebook tribute to him.

A Time to Pause & Recalibrate

Of course, when someone in your world dies, it’s a time to pause and recalibrate. It’s a time to reflect and remember. I’ve been fortunate to keep in touch with many of my high school classmates, thanks to social media, and we’ve been trading stories, photos and laughter remembering the sweet soul that was David. That’s been the only upside to this week. Otherwise, I’ve just been really, really sad.

I’ll be honest that I haven’t felt much like writing. So as a self-care gift to myself this week, I’m going to keep this post short and instead, share some of my previous articles that may help you if you’ve encountered grief lately–or know someone who has.

  • What to learn more about how to do grief YOUR way? Here are five tips to help (including some good book recommendations). How Do You Do Grief?
  • If you ever wonder about the Mystery & Magic of death, this poem, read at my mom’s funeral, demonstrates it beautifully. Gone From My Sight
  • Need creative ideas to support someone who is grieving? Here are some ideas that will make a difference. 10 Gifts to Give Someone Who Is Grieving

The truth is, we encounter grief and loss constantly. Sometimes it’s in the form of death–of a loved one, a friend, a former colleague, a neighbor, or a pet. Other times it’s in the form of the loss of a friendship, or a job, or an opportunity. Grief is part of life and the more we face it, talk about it and share the burden with one another, the easier it is to get through it.

Peace to you today and always,
Elizabeth

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